I see myself going down a slippery slope, a trap is laid before me and I cannot seem to evade it. Where to from here? How can we possibly recover? It seems like we have lost the battle already- its not easy to keep fighting now, but I know that You want me to. I want to do as I should but it seems effort alone is no longer rewarded; we’ve got to ‘work smart’ and be wise, but even then I still can’t escape the limitations, as a victim of my own folly: wasted time, chances blown.I am being lied to, I can hear it, I can feel myself losing grip of the truth, its all I can do to just to keep it in view. O God where are Your Promises of old? The wisdom I have sought has hidden itself from me, the Grace I need seems to have been withheld from me. Nonetheless I trust in the goodness of God, I will see His goodness again in the land of the living.

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