There is this dirty habit

Of replaying our mistakes in our heads

Over and over

As though to remind us of  the details that we may have forgotten.

And while it is important to be self aware,

Its super destructive to use these weak moments

To tell ourselves ‘who we really are’.

Because it becomes problematic

When we need to rise above our least capable selves

And be courageous, generous and caring.

In  situations where we need to deliver

Those definitions we have given ourselves based on our lowest moments,

Will not be working in our best interests.

We somehow imagine that our estimations of ourselves are most accurate and most honest

When we amplify our faults.

That we have the clearest picture of ourselves when we are at our worst.

How does that make sense?

How can we see ourselves best

In the midst of the darkest spaces of our hearts?

Its a dirty habit to craft our identity in the heart of darkness.

Its a recipe for self defeat.

As a man thinketh in his heart, so is he – Proverbs 23:7