Satisfy

For He satisfies the longing soul,
And fills the hungry soul with goodness.
Psalm 107:9 NKJV

I am a man of deep yearnings,
My heart pines for approval
And grovels for attention
Constantly seeking, consistently disappointed.
For the muscular arms of education and career have not been wide enough to hem me in,
Nor the affections of any person deep enough to pull me out,
Not even the promise of a prospective brighter future
Is alluring enough to keep this heart from yearning.
Seeking, seeking
Yet never finding
Hunting, hunting
Yet going hungry nonetheless.
This heart is pathetic and desperate
So I learned to put on a brave face,
And piece together an identity wrapped up in the most real-looking illusion,
Hoping that this time I will be satisfied.
But alas, it never lasts.
Nothing is that permanent,
Constant.
Immovable. Unshakeable.
Nothing can give my heart what it needs
No bedrock large enough to carry my insecurities.

Oh what a beautiful secret place we have in You!
Where to run when our hearts are overwhelmed
When our emotions have overtaken us
And our minds have been shot through with lies.
With ungloved, scarred hands
You still reach out for me.
You are that secret delight I take solace in
When my hunger rises.
You satisfy me, God
Like nothing in this life ever will.

And I still haven’t found what I’m looking for
– U2

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