On knowing yourself

You’d think
That after spending so much time
With yourself
That you would actually come
To know yourself,
Understand your urges
Make sense of your hang ups
Find true north,
But lo and behold-
It turns out most of us need therapy
To make sense of ourselves.
Perhaps one of the most puzzling things
About being alive
Is how possible it is
To live in a caricature of ourselves;
Adapting like a chameleon to whatever the room needs you to be
Or measuring up and belittling everyone in that room,
Traumatizing others or
Living in response to trauma-
Setting yourself on fire
Just to make other people cozy
Or setting fire to the
Most beautiful things in your life
Just to prove a point-
Its a great mystery
That you can spend our days
Doing all these things
And never quite know
Who you’re becoming
Along the way.

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